'Forgiveness is a Decision'

Hebrew. It is your executive function by which you make decisions in your life. To forgive someone ‘from the heart’ is to make a decision to forgive. 

What does it mean to make a decision to forgive? 

1. It is a decision to separate the person from the sin. You decide to address the bad behavior without writing off the person as bad. 

2. It is a decision to not be ruled by your emotions. You will not respond the way you feel – anger, resentment, vengefulness. Forgiveness doesn’t remove all painful emotions but determines not to give into them. 

3. It is a decision to not bring it up again and again. No one can ‘forgive and forget’. We remember the pain caused, but we decide to not keep throwing it in the person’s face. 

4. It is a decision to allow the person to regain trust. Once trust is broken, it can only be restored by repetitive good behavior. Like President Reagan said, ‘Trust but verify.’ Accountability is a great tool to reestablish trust. 

5. It is a decision to acknowledge the consequences that cannot be undone. Bad behavior can unleash an unstoppable negative sequence. Forgiveness is a decision to not keep bringing it up every time you feel the pain of the irrevocable consequences. 

6. It is a decision to do all you can to reconcile the relationship. ‘If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.’ (Rom 12:18) It takes two to reconcile but never let it be said that you did not pursue peace as much as you could. 

Forgiveness is a decision to dismiss resentment and displeasure in favor of the relationship. Truth is, forgiveness will always make you more emotionally healthy and at peace with the person, the world, and God.