'How to Be a Peace Maker '

calling names, and/or yelling. If you go to flight, you might react by becoming silent, leaving the room, or permanently avoiding the person. When we are out of control, there is no hope for making peace. Here are a few scriptural ideas that may help you become a peacemaker.

First of all, listen before you talk. James warns us about the power of the tongue; it can bring life or death. When we speak before we think, it usually brings death. James gives good advice: “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” (Jms 1:19-20). Actively listen to the other person. What is he/she really upset about? Is there an action that can easily be corrected? Have you hit someone’s hot button? Angry people usually calm down when they can say what they ‘need’ to say. Wait for them to finish before you respond. Once you say something, it is permanently out there. Heated words are rarely forgotten and rarely lead to any good.

Take a breath and ask for wisdom in the situation. “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”(James 1:5). We often don’t have a clue how to deescalate a situation with another person – especially when we are also hot under the collar. Ask God for insight into what is really going on, how to address it, and the words that will bring about healing.

Phil 4:8-9 is a passage you may want to memorize. It was given to a church when two people were not getting along. Paul’s response was: “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” 

Let’s break that down. Pray with a posture of praise. Focus on the good before you address the bad. Pray with affirmation that “the Lord is near.” God is present with you and the other person and wants your (collective) good even more than you do. Put away anxiety. There will probably be some difficulties and awkwardness in the conversation, but you can entrust the outcome to God. Even if the situation doesn’t turn out the way you wanted, you have done your part and can have a clean conscience. Pray for the specific situation and what you would like to see happen in it. “Present your requests to God.” …then listen to God’s voice. The best thing we can do is listen to God and allow Him to shape our thinking and our solutions. Finally, Paul affirms that the peace of God which surpasses even the chaos of the situation will guard your heart and mind. When you engage in prayer this way, you can trust God in the midst of the conversations.

“Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called children of God.” (Matt 5:9)

Seeking God’s will in my relationships,

Jonathan