‘Why would a reasonable, rational, decent person say what that person is saying?’
The easiest way to do that is to ask, “Why would a reasonable, rational, decent person say/do what he or she is saying/doing?”
Reflective thinking lowers the temperature of our emotions and helps us to figure out what we really want to say. Engaging our brains lowers our adrenaline flow. This question automatically gives the benefit of the doubt to the other person. Finally, and most importantly, it causes us to slow down and actually listen. We all think of ourselves as reasonable, rational, and decent. Really listen to the other person and you just might find that they are also reasonable, rational, and decent.
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20)
Seeking God’s Kingdom,
Jonathan